I started my sex life enjoying sex but still thinking that everything I had heard or seen before then was overrated. My appreciation gradually increased but I still thought sex was a nice to have but definitely still enjoyed more the before and hated the after. With some experience I started to value partners with intensity and motivation and the before that I liked so much became only worth if the during was worth it.
I am a nerd, if you read my blogs before you should know! So as a nerd I do only take interest into things that can be analysed and then offer the possibility to be mastered (+if there is any chance to be recognised for it, I am in!). As a girl nerd who got the rudimentary understanding of how easy it is to perform in public as a woman in the way it is expected but not valued in any other way than the sexual one at least at first, my life was and is definitely easier than the one of a boy nerd. Lots of boys are easy, it is a fact. Not all of them and not usually the best ones amongst the male population. But again the ones that are easy are the most likely for you to meet when you are looking for that kind of target - easily to demonstrate scientifically...
Although it is easy to be complacent and stick to an image of men that is that they are all silly basic and easy, I would recommend to step up a level and go for the less obvious the more difficult and also the more challenging. And this is only to describe the before sex stage. To be honest this stage is worth contemplating and enjoying for itself. How fantastic is it to meet interesting men: priceless!
I have stopped there for some time and realiused I had to learn a few things. I enjoyed being put on the spot and feeling I had to up my game to enjoy the discussion. Not only that but also that I had to be cleverer to actually get the attention of those guys I found clever and it did actually made me feel quite good.
And then tadahhhhh! Oh my god: sex with someone you value and have a connection!!!! I got it after all: what people were talking about, this incredible feeling! Maybe I needed to be older, maybe I needed to be cleverer or maybe it was a self estime thing... Ultimately I don't know. What I know is that it just happens sometime and that for me some could argue it was late... I don't care. It happened sometime and it made me rethink everything. It was worth taking the time to get there...
More than anything I love the fact that I discovered real interesting men that got my respect for just being themselves and respecting themselves. There is a lot of blabber about bimbos but I think that there is a growing category of men who bring shame of their kind. Time to act, men of the world!